C Notes by the Layers

I figured I would title this article this after I have been going through this whole wisdom teeth ordeal. For any of you who don't know, last Wednesday I started to have serious pain in my mouth to the point of not being able to chew or swallow. I was drinking only fluids for days, and still am to a degree. I need to get all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled. But after talking with a good friend of mine... I decided to rank the most painful things I have experienced... in order.

To begin, let me say this is physical pain. There is mental pain that at its worst I believe trumps physical pain. Now that we have that established, lets continue on.

1. Wisdom Teeth - I have never been in so much pain that I couldnt sleep, eat or function at all. Thats exactly what I was from Wednesday to Saturday (before I got the Vicoden!) Easily number 1.
2. Getting kicked in the balls - Stop, drop and roll, my God somebody help me, why is this happening to me?!?! Now this could easily be #1 as well, but the problem is at least this goes away after 15 minutes or so. The wisdom teeth thing is with ya. When a man gets wailed on in his junks, I mean a real placed kicked with power behind it... his entire body freezes up and goes into emergency mode. Its like we were programmed with something that says "Hey guys, our reproductive organs are under attack, HELP!" This particular incident happened during high school playing soccer and some uncoordinated guy who went for the ball, missed and got my nuts. I was out for 5 minutes moaning in agony. Trust me, its not fun.
3. A real Trip - What does this mean? Freshman year, my first week in champaign I was late for class. I was running FAST which at the time was pretty damn fast. Anyhoo, I'm from New York where bike racks that are placed on the ground in little circles are not common. I was running full speed ahead, didn't see this, my FEET got caught and WHAM. I went FACE down flat HARD. 3 people saw this and all of them were like "DAMN, are you alright man?" I could respond, i just moaned over and over... I remember some guy calling an ambulance as 2 people tried to help me up, I remembered where I was, told them I was fine and limped to class. My teeth are still chipped from that incident.
4. Shutting the door on your fingers, a normal door or car door will work. Nuff said.
5. Being punched in the gut when your not expecting it.